Treasuring and Pondering This Christmas Morn

As I sit here in our dark living room, save for the beautiful glowing Christmas tree, with remnants of cookies left over on the “Christmas picnic” by the fireplace, it is fairly evident that the big guy in red has come and gone. How exciting! Up since 5:20, not by choice but by baby, I still after all these years couldn’t help but get excited in anticipation of seeing Prayse’s face this morning. She truly is awesome, I’m glad I can play a role in giving her some joy on a special morning.

I’ve also found myself lost in thought as I think about this Christmas, our first with our son, and Mary, her first with her son. I have never really gotten out of my mind the verse in Luke 2:19, “But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” It seems like such a random thing just thrown in the story amidst the crazy, painful, but exhilarating birth of her son who by the way was already declared to be the Messiah, the host of heavenly angels putting on a concert in the sky, the shepherds who rushed in smelling of sweat and sheep poop but who probably fit right in seeing as how He was born in a stable – but they worshiped, fell to the ground and worshiped her baby.

I remember after having Prayse and there being a lot of people in the room later, wanting them all to just leave, being sore and wanting to have my baby to myself. Here was Mary, with men rushing in and falling to the ground to worship her son.

She treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. I think God knew Mamas would read this, and just get it. I think he knew that the significance of this one line would shout volumes to Mamas for centuries – we’d read the story, stop with this one line and say, “yeah, I get that.”

I was reading a commentary on this and found that “spiritual writers point out that is it not so much a ‘weighing up’ as allowing matters not fully understood to reside in one’s depths where they can be treasured and quietly reflected on as is appropriate. When a boat or a ship was entering shallow water, a ‘pondus’ or weight on a line was used to get an idea of how close the bottom of the sea was. We have a saying, ‘to get to the bottom of it’, meaning to probe and be able to see what currently is not obvious.”

I’m guessing this commentary was written by a man. I appreciate the background and Latin meaning of “pondus.” They did have one thing right, these are the moments that reside in the depths, the depths of our soul. For a Mama, we treasure and we ponder both the big and the seemingly small, the miracle of life, the little fingers who grasp onto ours as our babies are falling asleep. The sweet smell of their breath in the still of the night when all should be sleeping and are with the exception of us, either because we’re rocking our loves just one minute longer and falling more in love, or we’ve been driven out of bed just to check, just to make sure that yes, yes indeed, they’re still there, they’re still ours. And we are amazed.

Mary, well Mary what conflicting emotions. This was her son, her firstborn, her love. She had labored and successfully brought life into this world and her world was rocked, she fell deeper into love than she ever thought possible. I know that was her first thought. Her second though is one I’ll never know, “He is my Savior.” I heard the end of a reading on the radio this week from the viewpoint of Mary, as she picked up her son, held him closely cheek to cheek and all of the world was still, except the sweet breath of God. I just sat. I get that.

I have thought of this often the past week as I’m rocking a sick little boy to sleep, picking up my son who just hasn’t felt good. I thought, Mary did all of this too. For all of the glory and the wonder, Jesus was a newborn who needed to be rocked to sleep, who grabbed at his Mama’s hair, who was teething and needed some extra cuddles, who sometimes – just needed Mama. And I bet, she still treasured and pondered.

Silent from all of the chatter, from the Christmas carols, from the excitement and family and guests and glitter and cooking and hustle and bustle – it is easy to treasure and ponder. And I have a lot to treasure.

Merry Christmas friends, may you recognize the moments that are here and gone in an instant and may you treasure and ponder this coming year.