All Things Xavier Ray

It’s amazing what a little sleep can do eh? I’m not even talking a full nights sleep, just a little bit of sleep. Like, more than 90 minutes at a time, or more than a total of three hours sleep. With a newborn your entire dictionary gets revamped. The word “refreshed” has a completely new meaning. When you’re not completely dragging (literally) your feet on the floor as you walk (not shuffle) into the baby’s room. When 4:45 feels good. Why? B/c you actually slept for almost four hours before that, no matter that it was on the couch – such things are trivial now right? It could have been the floor and it the mere fact that you’re unconscious  would have been important.

It also allows me to write about my son. I have had so many things run through my mind to write about, but the desire for just a little bit of sleep (and the few times I literally have fallen asleep at my computer) have kept me away. But he’ll be four months old tomorrow, wow. And it is important to capture even the little things. Someday I’ll not remember perhaps the way his hair caught the light coming in his bedroom from the street lamp outside his window and how it reminded me of a little angel as we nursed and rocked. How the outline of his perfect face with cheeks that I cannot stop kissing, eyelashes that melt me, and lips that make me fall in love all over again, glowed with the perfection that only little children have. Those who are not tainted by this world. He’s still so brand new, not yet hurt, not yet hurtful. Amazing.

It’s hard not to compare, as I’m sure it is for all parents. I want him to be an individual, Xavier Ray. Not “Xavier compared to Prayse.” Although these moments do remind me as well moments with my infant daughter that had been buried deep within my memory. Of that I am grateful. I also realized last night that while we try not to compare and how it’s inevitable – being parents the second time around does also give X an advantage. We’re better parents than we were four years ago. We understand for example, that babies do appreciate a schedule. We’re not willy nilly, figuring he’ll just conk out when he’s tired. Poor P. I sometime wonder if the reason she gets so crazy when she’s tired is because we never actually taught her, nor put her to bed when she was tired as a baby… But onto X. We understand his signals a bit better b/c although at moments it feels like we’re completely brand new at this parenting thing, we do get it.

So, Xavier. He’s awesome. I mean, I figured you already know that. But really. He’s awesome. Let’s just answer the two questions everyone always asks right up front. 1. No, he’s not sleeping through the night yet (shhhh… it’s okay people, trust me, it hurts me more than it hurts you. I breed non-sleepers, I’ve accepted that fact) 2. YES HE’S A GOOD BABY (for the life of me I never understand why people even ask that, does anyone ever say “no”? Ridiculous.)

Beyond that though, he’s funny. He really is. He is vocal. He has figured out that in this family, if you want to be heard – you have to get loud, and get loud fast. So he does. He realizes he’s uncomfortable? Doesn’t want to be laying down any longer? You can watch the progression – he squirms a bit, his eyebrows raise, he gives a little “eh!” and then SCREEEEEECH!! GET ME OUT OF HERE MAMA!! Half the time he’s not even crying, just squealing. And say you pick him up, give him a new view… he’ll still give you a piece of his mind, just a bit at a time. Like he really is chewing you out a bit. Hilarious. I once told him I’d respond just a bit quicker if he weren’t so darn cute when he’s mad. Prolly not what he wanted to hear.

His dimples are to die for. He’ll smile at you and turn his face. Then peek back around at you to make sure you’re still there. And the person he smiles at the most? His most favoritest person in the whole entire world? Big Sister. Sissy is the one who can turn him from tears to dimples just with a clap, a jig, and a dance. Giggles galore when those two get together. And even without the fanfare, his eyes rarely leave his most favorite entertainment (and she is entertainment as we all know).

His second favorite person is Daddy. Boy is he the limelight of X’s world. When Daddy talks nobody else matters (except maybe the sporadic song and dance breakout from Sissy). Xavier’s eyes are on him, intent, and at the end – the dimples show up. Raymonn is an amazing Daddy, he and Prayse have a special relationship. I hear him sometimes talking with her, teaching her the ways of the world. I can tell the relationship with his son will be just as special, but different. Just like Prayse and I go to get our toes done, and do special girls things – Raymonn is itching to have that same special relationship with his son.

He also doesn’t stop moving his feet. Kicking is his favorite thing. While he’s on the changing table he is able to arch his  back up by pushing on his feet, scooting himself up and almost off the changing pad. He’s loving exploring this new world as I see him being able to reach for things. The coordination isn’t perfect but he’s mesmerized and so proud when he gets something and can grasp onto it to play for a bit. He’s not rolling over yet, but who cares. I don’t need a mobile child yet.

Our almost four months have been yet another lesson in love. Our family is pretty perfect right about now, sleep deprived and all.

Proof that Sissy is the bestest thing in the world:

Xavier Day Two  – Hello World!

Two weeks into this life thing, kinda getting the hang of it.

First bottle from Sissy, not sure how much milk he actually got…

Xavier’s first genuine smile, 4th of July.

Told you he was cute when crying.

Enjoying the summer with Grandma-Great.

And Grandad.

First time with a football helmet on…

First day of daycare, happier than Mama.

Looking dapper at a wedding.

My new all-time favorite moment captured of my boys.

Mama loves you Xavier Ray, thank you for making our world just that much richer.

(To see more images and make them larger click below)