A Mama’s Confession

I’ve been feeling convicted lately. I have been careless. I have thankfully had a few out of body experiences. And it happens when I find myself talking with Prayse. There are times, too many times lately when I find myself talking to her in a way that would never be acceptable if I were talking with my husband, a client, a colleague, a friend. Why is it okay if I talk to my four year old in that manner?

My goodness, its embarrassing to think about right now as I think back even to last night when I was trying to get her in the shower. She was of course applying her masterful stalling skills – “Let’s play hide and seek Mama!” “Nope, time for a shower.” “Okay! You count to five.” “No.” “Okay I’ll count to five” (as she climbs in an empty tote). And so on and so  on.

Then  as I’m getting her ready I hear someone talking to her in  this stupid, terrible, whiny voice that all but screams “I’m so annoyed with you – UGH”. With a shock I realized it was  my tone of voice and I was using it on my  4 year old. Immediately it came to my mind, I’d never ever speak to an adult with that tone. I’d really never even let Prayse speak to me in that tone. Why is it okay for me to? Sadly, it’s not even the first time.

This morning I was reading a devotional and it was on the tongue.

“Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.” James 3:5   -  …Harsh tones have left friends feeling poisoned. Careless words have killed the spirit of a vulnerable child…

Being the parent doesn’t give me a hall pass to speaking however I want to my children. It doesn’t mean that I get to be right all of the time. I am sitting here seriously embarrassed over how I’ve allowed myself to  speak to her lately. Yes, I am tired  (understatement). Yes, she stalls for  bedtime. Yes, she’s four and tests the limits. All of that is 100% truth. It doesn’t give me the right to be a jerk, even with my tone of voice.

The good thing is I know she’ll forgive me. Without even batting an  eye when I wake her up this morning and ask for forgiveness she’ll give me a hug and I know that I’m still her “favorite in the whole entire world.” Kids are awesome like that. I could learn a thing or two.