Posted by Tiffany in Being Mama, Family | 10 Comments
The Secret Sauce
Secret sauce, it’s the magic ingredient isn’t it? It’s what makes a Big Mac a Big Mac. Entire marketing campaigns are built around it (think Bush’s baked beans). Barbeque sauce touts their secret sauce, even some media companies tout their web design, code, and SEO techniques b/c they know the secret sauce to getting your website discovered and making you rich…
The secret sauce. It’s what makes the world go round. I found myself earlier this week wanting to know what exactly the secret sauce is to being a successful Momma of Two. Now THAT’S a secret that I’d pay for, it’s a secret that could change the game. It was a rough day, I thought anyway. I wanted only to have a clean kitchen, not too much to ask for. Instead I got a rambunctious three year old who I could not keep up with, who only wanted to play and have me play with her, a fussy baby who wouldn’t take a nap and a growing mound of laundry, dishes, dust, dirty toilets, and toys. The frustration kept mounting, I hated saying “no” or “not right now” to Prayse, but really – I just wanted a clean kitchen!
I’ve began getting up at 6:00 am, it hurts – I’m not gonna lie. I forgot how hard it is when you’re up on and off throughout the night to begin with. But it was a way that I could get a few things done around the house and have time for me. This morning Xavier decided to join me… as he was eventually sleeping on my chest and I was working hard at mastering the art of one-handed typing, I was reminded yet again about what I think reality should look like and what it actually looks like.
There’s something about that sweet baby smell that brings you back to earth, it grounds us (well, me anyway). I looked to my left to see work boots and a bouncy seat-turned clothing catcher. I looked to my right to see clean dishes needing put away and random small toys that seem to collect on the counters. I turned around and saw the Barbie guitar gracing my living room floor, a towel from last night when someone decided to sneak outside in their pajamas during the rainstorm (“BUT I HAVE MY UMBRELLA MOM!”), and a dusty floor. Then I bowed my head, breathed in my son again, and realized how good life is.
The perfectionist in me wants everything the way I want it, the way it should go – order = relaxation in my little world. For my children, Momma’s hugs and kisses and attention = happiness. So the laundry may not get folded or put away right away, we may have to wash our feet more often, dishes – well they’ll get washed eventually.
The days when my children are conspiring against me will come and then there are days when I am able to get accomplished at least some of what I want to. It’s a balancing act that the three of us will just have to work on together. For today? I’ll just enjoy my life and my family. That’s what’s important.
If anyone however DOES know the secret sauce, I won’t turn you away…
Trackbacks/Pingbacks
- I’m Cuddling My Baby, and Babies Don’t Keep | Clearepic - [...] response to my Secret Sauce post, my Aunt shared with me a poem that someone had shared with her ...
I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I’ll have plenty of time to clean my house when my kids are older and in school and too cool to hang out with me. For now, I’m going to enjoy them. Live your life, enjoy every moment with your babies, and clean later!
Very true Molly. Very true. I’m also reminded of Mimi’s comment once when she said, “A clean house is a sign of a wasted life.” or something to that effect.
I think … perhaps … choosing contentment in the moment is the secret. I walk into my house some days, after work, and the reality of how much needs to be done brings me to tears. I did better when I was a full time wife and mom and now adding a job to the mix … well … things are different. So I walk in and frustration and exhaustion make me cry. And then I look at my youngest, who is leaving in less than 2 weeks for a 5 month mission trip, and I wonder if this is REALLY what I want him to remember. Do I want his memories to be of a mom who was too tired and frustrated to relax, to watch a movie with him, to go out to dinner instead of slamming pans, to laugh? I want him to remember a mom who loved him and who chose joy and contentment … especially when things weren’t perfect!
I think you are right Beth. Contentment in the moment, that’s a good one. The question of “What kind of Mom do we want our children to remember?” Is also a great one. Thank you!
Love this post! With Annie on the way we are preparing for our lives to change! Even though the last 3 years have been spent childless I do think that choosing contentment is the secret sauce of life no matter what stage. During all of the fertility treatments and adoption stress it was easy to choose bitterness as all of my friends successfully got married and started families. Choosing contentment is the only thing that works. MY house may have been perfectly clean for the past 3 years, but it sure was empty.
Tara I am so excited for you to bring Annie home! Thank you for the reality check.
I kind of know what you mean. I was stressing out last night about financial issues, being pregnant, I began crying about it. It wasn’t anything I should be crying about, because, the money is there and even if it wasn’t God will provide.
Lyla crawled up on the couch began dabbing my eyes with a kleenex, and told me not to cry because “It’s OK!” After that she gave me a hug and a kiss, and went about dancing and singing a song about it being OK.
D, we may be more alike than we think. I’ve had many a nights like that on the couch. Why do we sometimes forget that God is bigger than our problems?
Hey, Tif….I so enjoyed my time with Prayse & Xavier. Just wanted to share this little poem I “clung to” when the boys were little and my house was, let’s say “cluttered”!!!!
“I hope my child looks back on today
and remembers a Mom who had time to play
There will be years for cleaning and cooking
But children grow up when we are not looking
Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
Cause babies grow fast, we learn to our sorrow
So settle down cobwebs, dust go to sleep
I’m cuddling my baby, and babies don’t keep”
Never feel guilty for loving on your babies!!!! You guys are great parents. Give em all loves for me!
Love you….Aunt Denise
Aunt Denise, I am so stealing this. I love you.