Meet My Son – Xavier

Oh my goodness it’s day 12 and I have yet to introduce you to one of the newest but still one of the most precious individuals in my life, my son. Xavier Ray Adams. Let’s say I’m extremely glad I chose to sit down and reflect on my pregnancy when I did, because the next day guess who decided to make his grand entrance?

I had fully intended on blogging a play by play much like I did with Prayse. Xavier, however, had different plans.

On May 20th I woke up to a contraction around 4:30 in the morning and decided it was strong enough to whip out the handy dandy Contraction app I had downloaded to my phone earlier, you know, just in case. In the next hour and a half I woke up to about three more. Now, I have had a few nights where contractions lasted a few hours and then stopped. It was the same with Prayse and in my mind, I knew this was different. However, we were supposed to move the next day, Raymonn was stressing about getting things done in our new house, rushing out. When I woke for good at 7:00 am we were about 10 minutes apart. I put Prayse in the bath and told R as he was leaving, “Stay by your phone.” It threw him for a loop, but I kept my mouth shut – I needed to pack, that night I was going to start cleaning the new house, Prayse was going to spend the night at a friend’s but I didn’t have anywhere for her to go and hang out until 4:30 that afternoon. Surely I would be able to wait. Surely labor would last all day.

Surely…

By 7:45 we were at about 6 minutes between contractions. I made a few calls, sent a few text messages to see if there was anyone not working who could watch Missy P. I took a shower to feel better about myself and to hopefully try to stall some of these contractions.

My best friend had a kiddo home sick with strep throat, my sister was working and unavailable, everyone else on the list – the all important, you’re on speed dial for when we go into labor in the middle of the night list – well, they were working. So I called my Mom to no answer, and sent her a text to call me when she could. With a call back from her we were at about 4 minutes, 30 seconds.

Before you say it, I KNOW. I know, I know, I know.

I told my Mom I thought I was having this baby and saying those words out loud made me cry b/c 1. I had just said those words out loud. 2. I told her I didn’t have anyone to stay with Prayse. She asked if R knew I was in labor yet? He didn’t, the plan was for me to try to hold on until she could get here. Yeah – she told me to call Raymonn and make sure my husband at least knew I was in labor. I know it sounds crazy, but I was trying to give him more time. So of course… I sent him a text.

I was having trouble talking through the contractions at this point, but Missy P? She was my savior this day. She took my hand and brought me to the yoga ball and told me to “Sit Mom.” She was an angel, who completely took advantage of the situation by helping herself to Goldfish crackers and marshmallows for breakfast. In the moment, I was fine with it – what was I going to do? Fix her an omelet?

Raymonn told me to call him when I was in labor for real. Trying to breathe through a contraction without freaking out my three year old, I texted back, “It’s real. Hard to talk through.” He was on his way – but first wanted to stop by the storage unit to pick up the car seat. A few minutes later he changed his mind to let me know he was just on his way home. I told him it’s okay, he “has time” if he wants to stop by. A minute later however, I also changed my mind as the next contraction made an appearance.

R got home and hopped in the shower, at about 3 and a half minutes between contractions I couldn’t remember if I had to call the Dr office or if the hospital did (don’t ask me why this seemed important, but it did). So I called the office and was told a nurse would call me back, and was asked what my question was – “Well, I’m in labor.” I got told not to hang up. A nurse immediately said, “Why are you calling? Honey get to the hospital, you are going too fast. With your second child we want you at the hospital when your contractions are 10 minutes apart.” I started crying and told her, “Nobody told me that! I’m trying to find someone to watch my daughter, my husband is in the shower.” She told me, “Tell your husband he can towel off in the car, you need to get to the hospital.”

Prayse, being the 100% total champ that she is, walked upstairs, put on her shoes, and told Daddy “Daddy, you need to get out. We have to go to the hospital now.” Thank goodness he listened to the three year old.

As we were walking to the car I received a text from a very good friend. Her husband had called her and let her know what was going on, she had canceled all of her appointments that day was picking up her three year old (Prayse’s best friend) and they were meeting us at the hospital. Words cannot describe the relief I felt. I couldn’t imagine her being by herself, Raymonn wouldn’t have wanted to miss the birth of his son – this was an incredible answer to prayer.

On the way to the hospital I could tell the contractions changed, they got more intense and fast. All of the sudden I hear a certain three year old from the back speak up and say, “OK! Ok, ok, ok, ok, OK! I am NOT going to  freak out!” I immediately laughed and thought, “Once again she’s my savior. She is a true gift.” I told her that was a great motto for the day and I was going to try to follow through.

I convinced R not to run the red lights and to let me out at the front door of the hospital so they could park. That we had time… I am so good at convincing myself of this apparently. There was a very nice, older gentleman, who made me want to wring his neck, saunter up at the door. I asked him what floor labor and delivery was on, he asked if I needed a wheelchair – I told him firmly, but nicely “No. I can get there I just need to know the floor.” He walked with me, actually I outpaced him b/c it was mission critical at this point. While he searched long and hard the floors, I had already found it and pushed the up button (WHY do you even wait to do this?? Just push the button dude!). Carie and Jaxon joined us in the elevator and we got off on the floor. I outpaced the gentleman again and had already started giving the lady my info before he joined in with, “I think I have someone who needs help.” Really? Thanks sir.

It was 11:09 am.

I got back into triage and the nurse told me, “I think we’ll just check you b/c I’m pretty sure we’re having a baby today.” Yep, between 6 and 7 cm we were definitely having a baby today. I do remember as we’re walking to the room the nurses saying, “Oh she looks so cute! In pain, but you’re cute!” It actually kind of made my day. At least I looked cute

Once in the room, R and P walked in as the nurse was putting in my IV. I had packed a special hospital bag for Praysie (never imagining she’d actually be looking at it IN the hospital). In the middle of a contraction I asked Prayse if she’d like to go open the bag and show Carie and Jaxon what was in it. All with a look of “Get her out of here!” to R. I was on edge and couldn’t remain completely calm through these anymore. He said, “Oh! Now?” “YES.”

I asked to use the restroom and freaked everyone out b/c they were concerned that I’d be pushing a baby instead. No, I really did just have to use the restroom – kinda. He was squeezing my bladder so… Up on my knees I went b/c I wasn’t just going to lay there in pain, I needed to do something to try to help myself. My information wasn’t in the computer, despite me registering online and sending my paperwork in. The nurses were amazing, I remember them getting some information and back and forth shooting off answers to each other.

All of the sudden, there was another change in the contractions. I pulled R close and held on as tight as possible. I just kept telling myself, “Don’t be one of those women Tiff. Don’t be the one screaming who scares every other Mama on the floor. Keep it in check!”I kept asking where the anesthesiologist was?? The nurse said he had told them he’d be there in  five minutes, I then called him a liar b/c he had said that more than five minutes earlier. I also begged for them to let me use the restroom again – yeah that was a no go. The nurse needed to check me again when the contraction ended, I wondered how we could do that b/c they were never ending at this point. Once she checked me I saw the look on her face and said, “Don’t tell me that!!” She assured me all was fine, wrote down 9 cm on the paper and went back to call Dr. Placek and ask for another anesthesiologist as she whispered, “She’s at nine and bulging!”

She then told me that if I needed to use the restroom, I would have to pee on the pad. What?? I was losing enough dignity today, no way would I also be peeing on a mat! I am not a puppy people. The other nurse chimed in that if I stood up and put pressure on the nether regions that bag of water would break and we’d be having this baby quickly. Having the bag of waters in tact was what was buying us time right now. I knew I needed time.

I was terrified. I remembered pushing with Prayse for an hour and thirty six minutes. I remember the episiotomy plus tearing – the damage done and the recovery. I could handle that again, I had talked my way through all of that. But to go through it, experience it all without an epidural? I’ll say it again, I was terrified. At that moment, in walked one of the most important people of the day. The man with the drugs. As he was trying to ask the thousand questions of, “Do you smoke? Do you experience migraines? Vision loss?” I attempted to speed up the process  by just answering them all at once, “No! No no no no no no no no! I promise I’m perfect, I’m just having a baby.”

Of course right before he started I got the worst contraction of the day, and could feel Mr Man’s head. He had asked, “Are you feeling more than uncomfortable? You’ll feel some pressure.” I remember the nurse commenting, “I don’t think she’s feeling a thing you’re doing.”

I wasn’t able to get an epi, but instead a spinal. I could still feel almost everything with the pressure, had control of my legs, could move, etc… but the edge was completely taken off. Dr. Placek had just arrived and checked me, broke my water with a pinch and said we’re ready – she just needed to change her clothes.

I could feel the contractions moving X down the birth canal before Dr Placek even came back. The nurse confirmed this was the case. When the Dr came back she said, “Okay we’re going to take this nice and easy and try to do this without any tearing.” I was amazed, I didn’t even realize it was possible my experience from Prayse was so different.

With two contractions and three pushes, my Lil Man made his entrance into this world.

It was 12:08 pm.

59 minutes after we arrived at the hospital, I was holding my son. Talk about a whirlwind experience. God is so good and got us to the hospital, we (okay, I) made decisions that put us close to the edge but anything different and we maybe wouldn’t have made it or I wouldn’t have gotten the spinal – I could have survived, but I still like this outcome better.

I was able to hold my baby for as long as I waned, nurse him, cuddle him, and just be, relax with my son- all before he was ever taken over to the warmer.

So at 7 lbs, 7 oz – and 20.5 inches long, our son came into our lives. It was an amazing journey.

Please, meet my son!

Minute one after he was born, still trying to figure some things out

One of my most favorite pictures, one I didn’t even know had been taken. It was our first bond, the first time he nursed minutes after he was born. I have to admit, that with X it was a bit different those first few minutes. With Miss P I had went to the hospital and with the epi had time to really reflect that, “Wow. Today I meet my daughter.” Then with the hour and a half of pushing I was ecstatic she was finally here. With X, I knew I’d meet my son, but had focused so much on pain management that it hadn’t quite hit me the same way. I looked at him and it took a few seconds for reality to set in, my son was here, in my arms. And then I fell in love.

Son, meet your Daddy.

Our family of FOUR.

Our heroes of the day!

I am beyond in love with these three.

Now I lay me down to sleep…

The most awesome big sister in the world.

Looks like I might be bringing two new babies home from the hospital…

We’re home! And not just “home”, I mean home home! We spent from Sunday when we left the hospital to Wednesday camped out in one bedroom of our town home. It was the only room in the entire house with a spec of furniture in it. We made do, using boxes as tables and using our “imaginations.” It was ummm… an adventure? With a tired, sore Mama, a three year old who had lost all of her stuff and was adjusting to a new baby… yeah, an “adventure.” That’s it. But I was glad to finally move into what is now our home.

Xavier and his Grandma-Great.

And if you don’t have a Super Hero Prayse at your house, you desperately need one. Especially if you’re in labor, they come in mighty handy.