And there’s the wall.

I knew it was coming. I could feel it. The wall. I hit it, slammed into it hard. Before March had even begun I looked at my calendar and realized what I’d done to myself and thought, “God give me strength.” Three work trips in three weeks = 12 airplanes, one two-day team meeting = late nights doing my actual job afterward, and one trip to see the in-laws = 22 hours in a car. We’re just beginning the Arkansas trip, we’ve survived the first 11 hours and one day. All of the above includes different eating and sleeping patterns.
Ugh.
So when I went in for my 30 week check up and knew I’d also have to re-take my glucose and hemoglobin test, I could have predicted the turnout. Here’s a preview:

• Third trimester, you’re supposed to gain approximately 11 lbs, I gained 6.5 in 3 weeks. The Dr. thinks it might be swelling from so much travel, but still… when you’re exhausted, feeling sick from the sweet orange drink you just had to chug and can tell your face is starting to resemble a balloon – not the best self esteem booster.
• Hemoglobin – the lowest they want is 12. First time I was at 12.3, this time 11.6. Not failing by much but definitely a reason I feel tired. With P it was much lower.
• Glucose – the highest they want is 123. I was at 165. So next week I’ll be taking a morning off of work to go drink an even bigger sickening sweet drink after fasting all night (food and water) and get my blood drawn 4 times. I’ve been through it before but it just means I know how yucky I’ll be feeling.
• And Lil Man decided to abandon his head down position and is now chillin out sideways. Which makes sense as I was wondering how he could be attempting to tear my belly apart the way he is in a head down position, unless he was just really flexible and practicing his splits or something…

I had this exact same appointment with Miss Prayse, only they told me she was too small and I needed to get another ultrasound. So I feel like I’ve at least been here before and everything turned out okay in the end.

I just need sleep. I’m not trying to whine, although it’s apparently the running theme of this post. I just do. We’re closing on our new house a week from Friday (YAY!) and from there it will be a rat race to the finish – well, the semi-finish of attempting to do some updates to the house before Mr. Man shows up, hoping we can move into the house before that blessed event. I never realized what all went into getting multiple quotes, trying to get the best deal, lining up contractors schedules… R has been just awesome at this. It’s taking a ton of his time too at the busiest period of work. So he’s been working until 1:30, 2:00 am every morning and then up at 7:00 to work out and start all over again.

So yeah, I’ve hit the wall. Emotionally, physically, spiritually, and even creatively. I feel like I had gotten into a good groove, writing, and dreaming – expressing both with my husband and having a lot of fun. But when you’re running so fast, so far, for that long – there’s not enough energy to go around. I need to amidst the business, the race, somehow find a way to reclaim myself. And hopefully as we close out this month, take a family vacation (a real one where I promise not to check my work email) in April, maybe one more work trip in – although I really am starting to doubt if I can do it – we can reclaim what I was beginning to love. Time for me, some sort of a focus. B/c now I attempt to stay up and wait for R to finish a call, etc. but find myself passed out on the couch. It’ll still be a mad house – there’s walls to paint, wall paper to be torn down, R is attempting to launch two products and had to push them back into April because of everything going on and my travel schedule – but if I’m not on airplanes and in hotels maybe we can make this work the next 2 months.

Gotta hold on for the ride!