Risky Biz-nass

This house selling and house buying stuff? It’s for the birds, seriously. Man alive. It’s 3:30 in the morning and here I am, I’ve been awake since 2:00 and finally decided if I wasn’t going to sleep I was going to clean, or pick up at least so tomorrow we could do the heavy lifting. After all, there is yet another couple coming through to look at the house tomorrow morning – well, this morning, at 10:00.

So many people, so little offers. Well, we do have one – a pathetic little attempt to purchase our house. It’s not looking like they’ll accept our counter. Which, I understand that. They are looking for a deal. I believe ours is a deal with all of the updates, but they are looking for a STEAL of a deal. I can’t let our house be stolen. Not that I’m emotionally attached to this house and won’t let down my pride. I think you always take pride in your first home. A major step into grownup-ness and all.  But we’re simply not in a position where we’re going broke, upside down, need to move this property to so we can pay our bills, etc…

Plus, it’s hard to want to lose our shirts over this when the couple last weekend told our realtor that our house is #1 on their list. There are just a few more they wanted to look at but the two snowstorms this week have them inside instead of out. “When the weather clears up they’ll look at those few more.” Does that mean spring? Or Saturday? I’d love to ask. And another couple coming tomorrow/today – word on the street is they are looking at 5 or 6 and will be making an offer.

Problem is, Lil Man is coming – and May is sneaking up on me. Problem is, I had a complete meltdown at work, one of those “I’m a grown woman of 30 but need my Mom right now” meltdowns at the thought of bringing home a newborn and an extremely active four year old to an apartment and spending my maternity leave, our entire summer, in an apartment. The house we love, the house we have looked at four times, the house that while yes we could purchase another one but this is the one we could be proud of putting the sweat equity into – it’s going to take some time to do a few things. We looked again today, with a friend who does renovations – there’s not as much as I originally remembered that would be a MUST. We could take it slow. We could start out with the priorities on our mind – wooden floors, although to what extent right away? Popcorn ceilings must come down, I hate these things! Here’s the other thing. We have the cash. We have the cash for the down payment, we would have the extras to do some, if not all of the extremely critical critical stuff (hopefully anyway, we’re getting some estimates). We could do this without touching our emergency fund.

When our house sells, we would just replenish the other areas of our savings – except of course the money we have set aside just for house repairs, that money has been saved in order to be spent on this exact thing. We have been building that fund as well. Here’s the thing, I’m a freak about saving. It’s a security thing for me. Security for our retirement, security for a major disaster next week, just plain old security. Funny since I work in a job where there is a small consistent income, but in sales it’s feast or famine. I guess I’m scared of the famine part, even though the counsel I’ve gotten – from our pastor, our financial adviser, my boss, my bosses boss – all who know us fairly well at different levels and our habits, would make the move we’re thinking of making. And knowing the business, where the company is going and where I’m going in the company – all confident we’ll be taken care of and taken care of well. And then I think to myself – R is rocking it at work. I mean just plain rocking it. He’s on the verge of getting his biggest sale yet – close to six figures. Not that we take that home, there is expense and hours and a partner that they’re working this together. Him and this other partner are also on the verge of the #2 biggest sale yet. He has two products that he will launch in March. And he’s got projects on his plate as soon as he gets them out the door will have an influx of cash flow into the business. He is seriously rocking it. I am so stinking proud of him. I’m seeing things he’s been dreaming of and working so hard on – starting to line up.

And then I think – am I just an over confident seller? Do I have unrealistic expectations of our home? So I called our realtor to ask. Turns out, even she thinks ours is the best on the market at this price point. Nobody has the updates we do (windows, a/c heat pump, water heater, sky lights, new floors, California Closet, fixtures, etc.). Nobody in this area of town on the market right now has the master suite like we do – just Jack and Jill bathrooms. Our house looks the best on paper and shows extremely well. So why hasn’t it sold then? Turns out people don’t buy a lot of houses during blizzards and negative 30 degree wind chill temperatures. I get that. So… spring is coming. It gives me hope.

Then there’s the fact that worse case scenario – my brother in law works with all college students. College kids who always need to rent a house. And we’re about 5 minutes away from the college… Gah! I’ve tried blaming the fact that it’s now close to 4:00 am on pregnancy insomnia but this is the real culprit. The fact that I am seriously considering the one stinkin thing I have held fast too and put my foot down over and over and over again – publicly, to our agent, to our mortgage broker, to my husband. We will not purchase a house without selling this first.

I go back and forth over it – it just depends on which aspect I’m panicking over at the moment. Am I panicking over the fact that I could be living in an apartment with two kids all summer? Well, then I lean more towards option 1 – getting things in motion for another house, a move, renovations. Am I panicking over the fact that my security in the potential of this current townhouse not selling in the time frame that I am comfortable with? Then I go with option #2 – what I’ve said all along, no buying until we sell. I have never wanted to be a landlord unless we had our house paid off and we could purchase another fixer upper, a real steal of a deal, with cash – and bank on it.

I keep praying about it- I keep praying for direction. I keep praying for wisdom in this. I just don’t want to make the wrong move either way. I want to be in a house that inspires us, that inspires my husband, that gives our family room to grow, room to move, in a neighborhood that can hold it’s value unlike any other neighborhood in the city, in a school district that is top tier. And right where our life revolves around. I want that. I don’t want to put my family in a situation where even if finances are not an issue – I am stressed and they feel that. I don’t want to put my marriage in that position either. And this yo-yo of peace, thoughts that don’t let me sleep – ugh. But at least I am praying about it, thinking through it – I wonder if I were just barreling ahead without any wise counsel, heavenly or earthly (and earthly from people who have been successful – the ones we’d like to be like), maybe that is the unwise thing?

It’s all risky – it’s just a matter of how much risk are you willing to take on? I don’t know the answer to that question. And should one ever rely on feelings at 4:00 am anyway?