It’s Not Just for the Kids

We talk about our kids, we discuss our kids, we think about our parenting, what we’re doing wrong, what they’re doing wrong. We learn, hopefully we listen, and adjust. It’s time for some adjusting.

I’ve been reading a lot about sleep patterns lately and recognizing that R and I have not been doing our job as parents. How you ask? I’m sure there are a lot of things you could list out – R would list more than I would I’m sure and our lists would certainly be different (it’s amazing the difference in our parenting views). Specifically I’ve been thinking a lot about sleep patterns, and schedules and P growing up and struggling with the various view points that seem to fly my way from a variety of people.

I have to admit – when I get pressured on a certain subject pertaining to my parenting skills – my natural inclination is to rebel. MY daughter, MY family, MY time, MY baby who’s growing up on me faster than you can imagine which makes me sad. Sometimes – it’s not the pressure or the incessant “you’re doing this wrong” conversations that cause me to stop and think.

I’m rambling. Here’s the deal – Prayse? Not getting enough sleep. She’s just not. She doesn’t nap consistently and even when she’s exhausted, the traditional nap time or going to bed can sometimes be a brawl. One in which in the case of a nap she consistently wins. I don’t get much time with her and I cherish our weekends. I do not wish to spend 2.5 hours fighting and crying (both of us) because of a nap time. And nights? I’ll admit, it’s been more about our schedule lately and not hers. We keep her up late and then comment that we’ve created this monster who won’t go to sleep, won’t stay asleep, etc..

Shame on us. She is three. She is three years old and it is not up to her to regulate and be able to recognize the signs that she is getting exhausted and simply go to bed. Maybe old school that’s how you feel it should be done – but not in my house. Not anymore. If it means saying “no” to some things, if it means leaving friends’ houses early, if it means I get my butt into gear and actually plan our meals ahead so that we are not eating at 7:00 – then I’ll do it. I’ll do what it takes so that my dolly feels good.

She is an amazing kiddo – but I’ve been succumbing to pressure lately of this “gotta nap” “gotta do it this way”, doubting myself the entire time instead of researching, working our way through a system that works in our house.

I have recognized that P simply doesn’t listen well when she gets tired. She is a great little lady. But when she’s tired, she just does her own  thing. I’ll be standing right there and ask her to not unroll the toilet paper – she’ll unroll the toilet paper. So what do I do? Start to fight her about a nap. About 15 minutes into the screaming as I was nearing my breaking point in walks our saint in real life, by the name of Grandma. She asks if Prayse would like to rock with her while they read some books. Tearfully nodding her head she tells Grandma, “I’m not sleepy.” With the wisdom of time my Mom tells her it’s okay to not be sleepy, she just wants to cuddle and read with her and would Prayse like a blanket for her legs just in case she gets chilly? Yes. Yes she would.

I then walk out with my head hanging. This growing up stuff? It’s not just for the kids. We need to recognize when we need to grow up, when we can approach situations differently. I had internalized pressure from outside voices to make nap time something that was a battle, bedtime the same thing.

Not any longer. I will continue to seek out wise counsel, to listen even when views oppose my own  – but it was a reality check.  It was a good reality check – changing my attitude, changing a course of action. Taking something that has built up to be a fight and will hopefully turn it into some relaxing time with my baby, time that I desperately need.

Thanks Mom.