Switching Teams

We’re in the middle of Raymonn attempting to get me to switch loyalties from the Chiefs to the Cowboys – so I figured I’d take the opportunity to write a bit I told him as soon as he takes me to the new stadium to watch a game I’d switch over – but until then I’ll make him get creative. Ha!

So I was gone this week – a Monday through Friday trip. It was hard, but not as hard as December’s trip to Puerto Rico. P wasn’t as clingy this time coming home- although I could have gone without the 11:00 bedtime the first night home. What can I say? She missed me!

As much as I didn’t like being away, I have to admit it was a good trip. I have some amazing clients and I enjoy their company. I always walk away feeling like I never get to spend quite as much time with them as I wanted – but hopefully they realize that I valued the time and opportunity to get to know them beyond the office. I mean – how can you not cross that barrier when you’re cheering each other on riding a mechanical bull to which we never ever actually beat the thing? I’d say walls get broken down!

It was also a good career move, hopefully. I have realized that I have gotten so content knowing that I am doing a good job, knowing that my clients feel I’m doing a good job, and that those immediately around me know that I am doing a good job and a valuable team member. Maybe that’s not enough? I’m beginning to realize that as much as I hate it- I probably need to play the politics game, at least a little bit. I have the relationships I need to have, to a certain extent – but I just stink at doing things just because it’s the “right” thing for my career. I need to get over it. I am taking a class that I have turned down the invitation to  3 times before. I turned it down because we were at a point where my clients needed me most, where I could not skip out on pre-planned meetings and conference calls. I could always point out and with legitimacy that it was the deals that needed tending to, that it was more important to make sure we were winning deals, putting up numbers, and had satisfied clients – that was what mattered.

Hello real world. It’s not what will really get you everywhere you need to be. Gah – have I mentioned I’m not good at playing games? Seriously. I stink at it. When I’m up against a true negotiator at work – they know it and walk all over me It’s why I hate contract negotiations. I need to find a way to subtly stand out more I guess to get the respect and outcomes I’d like to have. I was called a “work slave” this week. It was in a moment where the individual was trying to be endearing and funny and I did not take it as an insult b/c I knew he didn’t mean it – but it was an eye opener that it really it was a lot of people believe. So – I need to find a way to still be me, keep my priorities in line and figure out a way to attain what I can through work.

I’m not frustrated by it, I’m not discouraged by it – but it’s a reality that I live in, and need to accept it. It started yesterday with some tough and honest conversations. We’ll see where they lead, but I’m giving myself props for having them instead of running the other way.

Oh yeah – and in other news I had to let you know that while I was away? P grew up on me! She informed me tonight that she was going “out.” Came back with an “I’m home!” and informed me that she had been grocery shopping. Just what did she pick up inquiring minds want to know… grapes, pancakes, vitamins and lotion. Baby status- officially over!