Clarification

I’ve been complaining. Too much. I didn’t even realize it until I read through the comments from the last post. It has been one of those seasons of life where I haven’t taken the time to reflect on the communication and what I have been portraying. I’ll apologize for that.

I wanted to clarify my last post. I wasn’t sad about getting some down time. As a Mama I think that there is always that moment of adjustment when we realize that our children have taken another step toward independence. When another apron string has been cut – we need to mentally and emotionally adjust for that. Does it mean we’re sad? Maybe for a second – and then we’re just as proud of them for growing into the children we want them to be. I want my daughter to be independent (she’s got that down by the way). So the fact that she’s having a blast at Grandma and Grandad’s house? The fact that I have a voice mail of her “playing” the piano and telling me, “I love you Mommy!” while having a great time with Grandad is awesome. I love that. She’s growing up to be the little girl that I want her to be – I am succeeding.

I should be granted a moments license however to realize that in the midst of her being independent – she’s becoming independent from me. Double edged sword there. We love it – but there is still that moment of realization and revelation of what it means. I adjusted – I am proud of her and I’m proud of me.

My alone time – was lovely. R and I didn’t get our movie b/c his football game got over late – but we sure made the most of it by just going downtown to a bar to have wings and watch the rest of the Monday Night Football game. It was simple – it was us. I loved it. I needed that recharge to be with my husband. I am grateful for my parents and for my husband and for my fabulous daughter who simply goes with the flow.

I will apologize again for showing something not quite accurate. I love those pockets of time. I still believe that I need to make adjustments to have a breather on a daily basis – to adjust for a balance, to get some “me time” some God time – to work on the relationship that means the most to me ultimately. I still strive for that – I’ll fail a bunch of times, I know I will because I’m human. But my life is not bad, I don’t want it to sound like it is. I have an amazing family, I have a powerful God, I have a great job and I’m working through struggles in each area – but it is called life and I realize that.