My Secret Blog

I have another blog that I’ve never publicized, never blog rolled – it has always been just for me to “think out loud” while I steal precious moments to spend reading my Bible and building what I consider to be my most important friendship.

As I was re-reading my thoughts today I thought I’d post them here too.

When I logged in this morning I glanced at my previous post. It took me back over a month ago – just one day later a lot of things changed. It took awhile to process, to grow, to heal – but God is faithful.

In church we have been encouraged to try and memorize a bible verse a week. I have always been weak in this area, it’s an area I need to concentrate on and to get better at. I need to be able to pull scripture from memory – not for anyone else, but for me.

This week:
Hebrews 12:15

Be careful that no one fails to receive God’s grace and begins to cause trouble among you. A person like that can ruin many of you.

It is clear that the people and the readers needed encouragement in this book of Hebrews. Very fitting I believe. I need to keep running the race that God has laid out for me – I need to keep trusting in Him and the plans he has for me. I needed that encouragement.

I often blog and write about work. I suppose because I spend so many of my waking hours there, I spend more time with my colleagues than I do my family. I would love love love to find peace in that area that is continual. Do we ever? As Moms (and maybe as Dad’s – I can’t speak for them). I have been blessed to have been introduced to a few women that are amazing and are such an encouragement. I didn’t realize until just yesterday that they were an answer to prayer.

God heard. I was discouraged being surrounded by so many men (in some cases it could have been a good thing   – but not for me). Men that while were amazing individuals, have a different outlook on life than I do, have wives that are also amazing and able to stay home with their babies and children. Men who are driven by that corporate ladder.

Me too – who doesn’t want to get better? But as Mamas there is a tension there. There is something that pulls on our heart strings every day. I chatted with one new found friend (none of us actually office out of the same place) who talked w/ me about a class she had taken and in it they asked them to write down what they wanted their legacy to be.

Hers had nothing to do with work. Absolutely nothing. What she wanted to leave for her daughter was nothing about her once  fast tracked career. My “fast track” also slowed down when P was born – and while an adjustment that’s okay. The legacy Jon left was that of his children. The legacy my Grandad has and is still building is nothing short of one word: LOVE. Love for his family, love for anyone that crosses his path. It’s the way he shows everyone who is Maker is. His life first and foremost is his witness – and then people will listen to what he says.

That’s what me as his Granddaughter knows of his legacy – and he did do some great things with the “jobs” but that’s not the first thing I think of.  It really and truly is what people observe – both family and those around us, but mostly family who sees us daily and will know of our legacy.

So once again, I know I’m on the right track and leaving and feeling guilty – it seems I always have to convince myself that I’m a good Mama and go through this same exercise when travel for work is pending. Thankfully I have a God who is patient – and friends who are even more patient and listen to me whine!

Thank you