Long Love Lost

There was another funeral today. I struggle with these so much. To be honest I’m still struggling with the loss of my sister’s SIL. This story was a little different, but not any less heartbreaking. He was a man who had lived an amazing life, four children, grandchildren, and a wife of 57 years. Incredibly loved, having inspired so many by coaching for over 40 years. His grandson read a tribute to him and through tears preached the truth: When you hear of someone like Bob dying we ultimately know that the “rational” response of ‘He lived a good life, death is natural.’ ‘At his age it is sometime’s a blessing.’ It’s all wrong. We know that, it’s wrong that someone who could have coached basketball for longer can’t do it any more. It is wrong that an amazing husband, father, granddad, friend and hero – is gone. It’s a blessing that we share the same faith – he made the world a better place, he’ll do the same for heaven. It’s a hope that there will be a reunion someday.

Sitting there waiting for the Celebration of Life to begin, I kept re-reading how long he was married to his wife. Fifty-seven years. This is what breaks my heart. It is always about those left behind. How could you make it through? How could you do it without your best friend there? FIFTY-SEVEN YEARS! Again, I share the same faith – but even with that – how do you go to bed alone? How do you do something as simple as keep breathing when you wake up and realize your best friend, who has been there for fifty-seven years isn’t there when you roll over?

Every morning I spend a few minutes looking at Raymonn when I wake up (if I can get the sometimes pillow off of his face without being growled at that is). I love it – I think about us, I think about our life, goals, dreams, hopes, Prayse – and I think about how lucky I am to have him and who he is. I would be devastated and we’ve been married 4 years. Imagine that times 10 and then it’s all gone.

I can’t comprehend it – my heart hurts for her.