Clear Epic

What a weekend it has been. Shoot. What a TWO WEEKS we’ve had. Poor Miss P. Saturday I took her into the Dr after she was really clingy, fussy, and threw up her entire breakfast. She was scratching at her ears, but no fever. All I could tell the Dr was that “she just wasn’t her.” Thank goodness for a Mother’s Intuition. My babe has a double ear infection. Poor thing. Of course the antibiotic is evil, just evil. There is no way to mask it and we I have to hold her down, all the while screaming, to get any in her system. We both end up in tears by the time it is all over.

Then this morning I decided to give her a little bit of peanut butter on toast as a snack. I’ve held off because of the fear of an allergic reaction. Turns out I had a right to be scared. She had an immediate reaction to the stupid stuff. I have never seen her get red hives that big and that immediately. I freaked out. You hear all the time of dreaded peanut allergies where people’s throats close up and they cannot breathe. Thank goodness for Telephone Line to Care. With some benadryl  at least some of the hives cleared up. Of course it was another few times of trying to get yet  more medicine down her throat… fun.

So between those two things and generally not feeling well we have had a lot of tears and frustration. Poor boo. I wish I could take it all away, I wish Mamas had a magical power to absorb all of our babies’ hurt. I would take it in a second. It makes me realize how blessed we are. My sister works in a Children’s Hospital. Her stories make me cry. Little kids fighting cancer and being so brave. The parents who sit with them day after day trying to do whatever they can to make their days just a little brighter. The parents who fight and fight and fight. And the parents who realize that the pain has to stop and then do whatever they can to make their babies’ last days full of laughter and as pain free as possible. I can’t even imagine. It would be so hard for me to watch my child going through that and still come out of it saying, “God is good.” What an unfair world it is. The fear of what we cannot control could take over if we let it. You have to consider the possibility, shudder at the thought, throw up a prayer of thanks for the blessings we have, throw up another prayer begging not to be one of those families, and then keep moving, enjoying every single minute we are given. Even the sad, “Mama I don’t feel good but I can’t tell you” minutes.

Anyway, between being out of town last week and a sick baby this weekend I have not gotten anything done for work that I needed. It is 1:30 in the morning, I am on my third cup of coffee and just started giggling uncontrollably as I looked up the word “penetration” filling out a security document that I am highly unqualified to do.  It was at that point, I knew I needed a short break.

Thank goodness for blogs.