Clear Epic

Then…

Now…

My dearest Praysalyn,

Look at how you’ve grown! You have gone from this small little babe who didn’t do much but lay there and be cute to a small little babe who grins, giggles, waves your arms, recognizes Mama’s voice and Daddy’s voice. You follow us with your eyes. You LOVE lights and music. You love when we sing and when we dance with you. You are awesome. You are the love of my life, you are my heart.

The world is a different place now just because you’re here. I could never have imagined how much I would love being your Mom. Who would have thought that I could have such a good time hanging out with you? You are an awesome conversationalist! Mornings are my favorite, you are so smiley like you missed me as much as I missed you during the night. Yes, I will miss my mornings with you the most as I go back to work tomorrow. I’ve shed many tears and will probably shed a few more. Never in my life would I have thought that I would want to be a stay at home mom. It’s not possible now, but I am blessed with a flexible job that will allow me to stay home with you when you’re sick, to leave early when you have school plays.

I was thinking about this a lot over the past week and do you know what I was imagining? A trip to Disney World! Just for you. We’ll wait until you’re six or seven of course and can really enjoy the rides. I’ll start saving so we can stay in the Magic Kingdom and you can get a wake up call from Pluto or maybe Mickey himself. This of course all depends on if you like Disney World or not (and what 6 year old doesn’t?). It was one of the places that I always wanted to go while growing up and your Grandparents kept telling me that I had to wait until your Aunt Chelsea was old enough to enjoy. I think we’ll just go when you’re old enough, your hopefully younger sister or brother will give Mama an excuse to stay on the ground while you and Daddy ride the rides But this is why I’m going back to work. So we can provide fun trips like this, to see the smiles and grins continue. Also, do you know how expensive college is going to be when you grow up? You’re in good hands, this I know and am thankful for. Mama’s hands are still the best though!

We have had such a crazy past few weeks. You have learned so much and have grown tremendously. You love to hang on to anything, you hang onto my hair, you clutch onto my shirt and my favorite? When I’m holding you, you hold back. It’s almost like a hug. You have even started to be able to pull things up and/or down depending on how you look at it. See the picture below, I kept telling you not to show the goods but you weren’t so much listening

You also hang onto your hair all the time. I think it’s a way to self-soothe. It’s so funny to see that hand go automatically to your hair. Right now you are asleep on your blanket right beside me with your right hand in your hair. Be careful though, because when you get mad I have to be careful and make sure you don’t rip out big chunks. We have to protect that beautiful head of hair you have baby!

You were dedicated last week in church. Grandma and Grandad Ferguson came and so did your Aunt Chelsea and Uncle Matt. You were so cute in your new dress. Just look and see:

Pastor Brad even gave you a letter that explains what it means and what your name means.

“Dear Prayse,

What a special day this is! It is the day when we dedicated you to Jesus.

‘Dedicated’ is a big word, so let me explain. At the beginning of the service where hundreds of people had gathered to sign God’s praise and to learn from His word, your parents brought you to the front of the church and I explained both what we were doing and the meaning of your names. Then a pastor took you in his arms and we prayed that God would bless you and protect you and cause you to grow up and to know Him and to walk with Him all the days of your life.

Your names are very special. ‘Prayse’ is just that, praise, and ‘Jamesen’ is Hebrew meaning ’sup planter.’ When I think of your names, I think of this verse in Lamentations 3:25 which says, “The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul that seeks Him.” Prayse, we want you to know that we love you and will look forward to seeing you grow up to love Jesus.”

It’s a big job you know, but what’s even more amazing is that God loves you even more than Mama! I can’t even believe it myself sometimes. You will one day make your own choice to follow Jesus or not and I hope you choose to believe the same as Daddy and I. I am already praying for you, not just for your safety and happiness, but for the life that you will lead and believe it or not, for your husband. Crazy isn’t it? To be praying for the little boy that God will bring into your life? None the less, he’s getting my prayers to.

I love you baby and always remember that even if you are sad and I’m not there, I will always come back for you. I will always be there when you need me. I’m your Mama!